Meet Colby

This is Colby... our family's new labradoodle puppy!

Colby is also our latest lesson in how God sometimes gives us what we want as well as what we need.

 Coming home from the HUMANE SOCIETY.  Yes, you read that correctly, we found this puppy at the humane society.  Our first choice in a type of puppy, but the one we thought we would never be able to afford.  Labradoodles are known for being great with children and also a great dog for allery sufferers.

Colby is also the fulfillment of a promise that Jay made to our sweet little girl about 3 years ago.  A promise that he foolishly thought she would forget!!  (she does have red streaks in her hair-we had just gotten home from the fall festival!)

 Colby is a great reason to get out and enjoy this beautiful weather we have been having!

 Colby loves to play fetch with balls, so he and Jacob have hit it off really well.!

 Playing together in the kitchen!

 Colby is also a good teaching tool.  We call this lesson- responsibility!!

We had been researching and exploring different dogs and stopped by the Humane Society to talk with them and get their opinion on dogs with children and allergies.  Guess who had just come available for adoption that very morning!  We were not at all expecting to find a dog.  He's 5 months old, already housetrained, and pretty much crate trained as far as sleeping throught the night.  He is more than we could have asked for or imagined.  October just happens to be the month that the HS waives all their adoption fees so all they asked was that we make a donation.  We also purchased our supplies for him from them.

I guess the best summary of Colby is that he is a gift!

I love this little boy...

This picture is a couple of months old now, but I just love it...

It captures so many things about my little buddy..

He LOVES his Uh-Oh and has since he was about 6 months old

He wants to be just like his big brother (which is why he chose the chocolate cupcakes- exactly like his brother's a month before-he even wanted the liners to be the same soccer ones and he couldn't care less about soccer or sports!)

He adores monster trucks- it was painful for me to buy "grave digger" monster truck plates for my 3 year old but that is what he was into!

He has the largest, darkest eyes and the sweetest little smile.

3 has been so much better than 2.  Whew!  I wasn't sure we were both going to make it through 2

see what i mean? those eyes...

Knoxville in October!

We headed back up to Knoxville to visit my family.

Stopped in Chattanooga at Sugars for dinner (some kind of yummy bbq!)

of course we saved our scraps to feed the goats!

Among other things this weekend, we headed back to Dollywood!

We are at such an unbelievably fun stage with our kids!

(despite his expression, Nathan really does LOVE to ride the rides!)





 This is Nathan's favorite, by far!  The old-timey cars that he can "drive" all by himself!

He laughs and giggles the whole time!

Angel Baby

would have been due yesterday, October 5, 2010.

Shortly after I found out I was pregnant one of my sweet friends gave me this bib with the "angel baby" on it as my first baby gift!  Neither of us had any idea at the time just how true and precious this gift was going to be.

I will be honest- this is has been a very long and emotional journey.  I have learned a lot about grief.  Maybe that is why this has been particularly difficult for me- loosing this baby is one of the the first real experiences with grief I've ever had. 

 Grief is messy and unpredictable- I never know when I'm going to be sad, or what particular thing is going to cause me to be weepy.  Also, grief cannot be reasoned with- I can tell myself everything I know to be true or practical about my situation, but at the end of the day, I am still just sad.  And that my friends, is where the Lord is so faithful to meet me- allowing Him to have my sadness and my lack of understanding, not rushing out of the valley, but staying there because I know He brought me to this place and He will walk through it with me.

The other thing I hate about grief is that there is no real end in sight.  It's not like I can look ahead and choose a day and say ok, on this particular date, I will no longer be sad.

I tell myself a lot- I know that God loves me.  I know that He has a perfect plan for my life and I trust Him and although this is NOT what I would have chosen for myself, He is Holy and Trustworthy and Good. 

I have spent a lot of time in Psalm 91 the past six months and they have become some of my favorite verses:

"He who dwells in the shelter of

the Most High will

rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the Lord, 'He is my

refuge and my fortress, my God,

in whom I trust.'

He will cover you with his feathers

and under His wings you will find

refuge;

his faithfulness will be your shield

and rampart." 1,2, and 4

Under the wings of God

is where I find my strength to rise

Because I found favor in His eyes

something I could never earn

My shelter in this raging storm

But nothing can shake me

when I'm under the wings of God... Mandi Mapes

Whatever your storm may be, I hope to find you resting with me under His loving, strong wings.